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Four Steps to Transform into a More Powerful You

Life Coaching: Transform into a More Powerful You

Transformation is a process, a journey of self-inquiry and self-awareness. All of us, over time, develop patterns of behavior and thought based on many different circumstances: influence from family and friends, traumatic situations, social “norms”, stress of daily life, and so on.

When we notice something inside of us that we would like to change, it helps to become aware of the stages we go through in order to re-pattern ourselves into a healthier behavior and become empowered to take control over our own lives. All change is self-change, whether working with a group, individual coach or any kind of therapist. It always comes down to the individual and their willingness to learn and take action.

So, how do you go about transforming and creating lasting change in your own life?
Here are four steps to consider:

1. Awareness and Contemplation.

At some point, we are unaware of a particular behavior, thought or issue and something or someone brings it to our attention. When this happens (and we eventually let down our defense mechanisms), we go from a space of unconscious to conscious. It is a time of contemplation and of recognition that there is an opportunity to make a different choice. We begin to search for the causes, to understand what is alive in us and, eventually, to start looking for possible solutions and alternatives.

Sometimes people can be “stuck” in this place of contemplation indefinitely without moving to the next step. They recognize that there is an issue and think about the problem, but do not find the motivation to focus instead on the solutions and possible actions. If you find yourself here, take time to consider the possible solutions rather than the problem, look to the future instead of the past. Make a list of ideas and alternative actions or ways of being, and allow yourself to feel anticipation and excitement as you envision yourself embodying this new choice.

2. Goal Setting.

Once an individual begins to think about the solutions and alternatives, they start to reevaluate themselves and form a plan of action by setting goals. To begin, a good step here is to make a public announcement of your intention for change. Rather than keeping the idea nested in your head, tell a friend, tell many friends, and invite them to hold you accountable for your intention.

As you start writing down your goals, remember the acronym for goal setting:

S.M.A.R.T. It stands for: Specific, Measurable, Attainable or Action-Oriented, Realistic, and Timely Goals. Performance based action-oriented goals help break things down into bite-size pieces so you can celebrate small victories along the way. For example, instead of the general idea of “losing weight,” this week exercise 20 minutes longer. Also, it is important to stay positive in your wording. Instead of stating what you don’t want, state want you do want. For instance, rather than “I don’t want to be unhealthy” say, “I want to improve my health”. Affirmations are a powerful tool and keep you focused on the solution.
3. Taking action.

Now that you have recognized the issues, focused on the solutions and created an action plan, it is time to get engaged. This is where real commitment comes in. Healthy activities to counter an otherwise unhealthy activity, such as going for a long walk instead of reacting emotionally to a situation or reading a book instead of watching television, are an important tool in this stage of change. Countering is a powerful method to break patterns that were once unconscious and to begin to set in place new mindful patterns of behavior and thought that serve in your personal growth.

Another way to support goals is to create an environment that offers alternatives. A few examples are to buy fresh organic vegetables and fruits as snacks in the house, remove alcohol from your environment, post affirmations all around your living space, read self-help books to stay mentally stimulated and inspired or set alarms during the day to remind you to take a ten minute break.

As you move through this conscious action stage of re-patterning, it is helpful to have positive reinforcement from friends, family and even yourself. Honor your small victories, like accomplishing your goals at certain timelines. Be patient with yourself, take your time and if you notice that you are slipping into contemplation instead of action, simply reevaluate your needs and begin setting S.M.A.R.T. goals once again.

4. Maintenance.

Over time, as you move through your action steps supported by countering techniques, a healthy environment, positive reinforcement and the help of your loved ones, you will eventually graduate to a level where this new pattern of behavior replaces the old. Some issues will disappear completely and become a new healthy behavior that embeds itself into your being, while others may require a lifetime of maintenance and conscious self-awareness.

The bottom line is that real change is possible. Every moment of your life is a new opportunity to make a different choice that supports your mind, body and spirit health and well-being and the well-being of those around you. You have the power to make that change in your life. Start now and remember, in the words of Lao-tzu, “the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”.

Val Silidker, MS, is in love with life! As a Deep Ecologist, transformational catalyst, inspirational speaker, writer and facilitator, as well as the founder of Inspired Life Workshops and Expand the Love, she has been empowering individuals and groups both nationally and internationally for over 15 years. Val delivers eloquent, thought-provoking and interactive experiences that address the core of who we are and the state of our world both internally and externally, while challenging individuals to question deeper and see the world with new eyes. Val also designs, directs and facilitates transformational workshops and works intimately with individuals to inspire them to ask deeper questions, discover their purpose and experience true happiness. Connect with her at:

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